The Fastest Ways To Lose Someone’s Respect, According To Reddit

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it,” the billionaire Warren Buffett once said. Have you ever experienced a moment where all of your respect for someone, perhaps built over many years, dropped away instantly?

Redditors have been describing exactly these situations, when a co-worker, friend or even new acquaintance said or did something to show their true colours.

Here are 50 of the most uncomfortable, shocking or inappropriate revelations that caused a person’s reputation to collapse around them.

1. Sore loser

My RA freshman year of college: she had just lost a board game and threw a fit. At first I thought she was joking, but soon realized she was completely serious.

A 20-year old having a tantrum over Ticket to Ride. In front of her friends and residents. Thinking it made her seem “scary” rather than juvenile. Never could respect her after that.


2. Credit card theft

My ex-girlfriend found someone’s ATM card left in the machine. Promptly went on a shopping spree.

I was so furious. People like her are the reason I have a panic attack when I can’t find my wallet. Just a straight up scummy thing to do.


3. Trashy behaviour

I was out with a guy, we stopped at Taco Bell and were walking with a couple of tacos. He finished his first one and let the wrapper flutter to the ground. I’m typically non-confrontational but kind of knee-jerked a shocked reaction.

He blew it off and I thought maybe he was just embarrassed. But after the next taco, he doubled down and dropped that wrapper too. Lost all respect for him in that moment.


4. Difficult customer

A college girl I worked with at a restaurant on campus bragged about how she told off a manager who politely asked her to order leave at a restaurant downtown where she was studying and not buying anything.

She told him that the whole town is her library and the only reason he had a job was because of students like her (college town), and that she was going to college to do something meaningful with her life and make a difference so she wouldn’t end up a sad restaurant manager like himself.

I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. I have never heard anything more bratty and self-entitled in my life.


5. The worst anecdote for a date

He told me a story about how he helped his friend cheat on his girlfriend.

Not a great way to impress a woman, guys..


6. Racist criticism

He told me that I was “betraying my black brothers and sisters” by dating a white man.

I’m half-white and half-black, and he’s still a racist jerk… It was a dude trying to get my number at the mall until my boyfriend walked back over to me and slipped a hand around my waist.


7. Break-up wake-up call

I went over to my girlfriend’s house one night with the plan to break up with her. We started having the conversation and she gets emotional and started crying and we were going through the whole breakup thing.

Her little dog jumped into her lap and she basically threw it across the room because she was being a child and didn’t want it on her right then… I told her how awful she was and left right then.

No more conversation because she just proved to me she was exactly what I thought she was. There is never an excuse to take your anger out on something so innocent.


8. Shameless theft

A friend stole a hat from me and I caught him trying to sell it at a flea market after he lied about knowing where it was.

I found it with a price tag on it.


9. Pyramid schemers

Anyone who sells pyramid scheme products. I met a nice girl at work, she had bachelor’s degree in biology and seemed very level headed.

Yet a few weeks later she messaged me asking if I could use more energy in my life because she has found this GREAT new product by Level called Thrive!


10. Ignorance is bliss

“Don’t confuse me with facts; I’ve already made up my mind.”

Still one of the most shocking statements I’ve ever heard; certainly the most disappointing.


11. Workplace pickpocket

I had a $200 best buy gift card stolen out of my wallet at work. Because I had the receipt for the gift card, Best Buy was able to tell me what the person purchased (a fancy radar detector), and as it turned out, they paid the last $23 with their dad’s credit card.

It was one of my good friends. He never admitted to stealing it, said he found it in the parking lot, obviously a lie and he knew I had lost mine. He’s still a friend of friends and my blood still boils when I think about it, this was nearly 20 years ago.


12. Spring break fundraiser

A few years ago, we had some teens go door-to-door raising money for their spring break vacation to Mexico.

This wasn’t for volunteer service or community work… just “give me money so we can go party.”


13. Losing a friend

I was in the 6th grade and freaking out because I was getting sceptical about God, I asked my best friend (one of my only friends) if he’d still be friends with me if I didn’t believe in God and he said “no” with no hesitation or smirk or anything.

I went home upset but didn’t bother to tell anyone.


14. Cruel pranks

There used to be a homeless man that would sleep outside of the pizza place I used to work at. Never bothered anyone, never asked for food, though we did offer him some when we had leftover pies. Middle of winter, he stopped coming around.

Couple weeks later, a coworker tells me that he and his friends dumped water on him while he was sleeping for a laugh, thinking I would think it was funny. Yeah, no.


15. Stuck in their ways

My old boss used one of the most dangerous phrases I’ve ever heard.

“We’ve been doing this thing this way as long as I can remember.”

That doesn’t make it the most efficient way or the best way, take the blinders off.


16. Not to be trusted

A friend once stole my Ritalin, and every other friend of mine just watched him do it. I found out weeks later and asked them why the hell they didn’t tell me.

They gave some nonsense about it not being their problem, and they thought I knew, and they didn’t want to ruin my friendship with that guy… it was a wake up call moment that I couldn’t trust any one of them.

17. Not just for Christmas

My boyfriend’s brother and wife. She has a bad case of baby fever but can’t conceive and has had several miscarriages. There’s been two instances where she wants a puppy to calm her “baby fever” so she gets her husband to get her a puppy.

A few months later, she gets pregnant and lo and behold, they can’t keep the dog anymore because “we’re having a baby”.


18. Conspiracy theory

I worked with a guy who I never liked that much to begin with (I thought he was a little douchey) but I never had any problems with him.

Until on his last day at work, with just me and my manager there, he starts going on about how Sandy Hook was a conspiracy theory and started pulling all this stuff out of nowhere. He started talking about how the response times from the police station were apparently too quick (they weren’t) and started saying how first responders couldn’t possibly get there that fast. I had to tell him my dad is a first responder and they absolutely can get there that fast.

Even my manager, who is normally impartial, was pretty well disgusted. All he had to say was “come on man, you’re smarter than this.”


19. Impulsive burglar

One of my best friends at the time got inebriated and ended up stealing quite a bit of absolutely useless (like 110% useless to him. hair curlers and straightening sprays) things. Got caught with them trying to leave a party where everyone knows everyone.

The person he was stealing from was a single mother, hosting the party.


20. Family politics

My brother in law caused a huge scene introducing his new girlfriend in front of his ex and his kids the day before Christmas. His logic being that if she got mad and withheld custody the next day on Christmas, he would use it against her in court.

So he ruined his kids’ Christmas in order to screw his ex and look good in court to pay less money. His logic was if she wasn’t going to adhere to the agreement on custody then he shouldn’t have to pay as much.

He used his children’s Christmas as a pawn in a chess game of douchery.


21. Not impressed

Guys who feel the need to make sexual comments about girls at every turn. You’re not being alpha, you’re not proving how manly you are.

You sound like a dirty old perv and you make me not want to hang around with you. (FYI, I’m a dude).


22. Marathon cheat

One of my closest friends and I trained to run a half marathon. she had some issues where she didn’t train as much as me because of an injury. Now it was understood that we trained together but would run our won pace at the actual race. I would not hold back for her and do my best and cheer her on when she finished.

So we start off together and over halfway she needed to walk, so I kept running. It was about a two mile out and back. She decided to meet up with me as I was returning from the out and back and cut off about two miles of the race.

She then proceeds to kick it in the end and beat me and pretended she ran the whole thing. Needless to say our race buddy days were over that day.


23. True colours

I went on what was almost a wonderful date with a guy who was a darling to me all day, but atrociously rude to our waiter at dinner.

I blocked his number so fast he didn’t have time to whine.


24. Dinosaur denier

My nephew’s godmother doesn’t believe dinosaurs actually existed. She believes fossils found are planted by the devil.

She lives in Arkansas, if you couldn’t guess.


25. Moving out

When my best friend told me her ex came by to get some of his stuff and proceeded to start calling her stupid and an idiot, I instantly lost all respect…I honestly liked the guy the 2-3 years they dated, but even just thinking about what he said to her makes my blood boil.

When I was younger, I would call myself stupid when my homework stumped me and my dad would get real calm and state, “Son, you’re only stupid if you think you are. Don’t ever call yourself stupid.”


26. Friend hierarchy

For the course of about a year I volunteered every weekend at a museum with a girl I knew… In my opinion we were friends as she often initated our conversations and asked me to eat with her, but I noticed she started avoiding me at parties and outside of volunteering events.

It came to a point where I asked her, “Are we friends? I feel like you avoid me, and while I hate to jump to conclusions, I just don’t understand what’s going on”. She responded “oh we’re just work friends.

“Like you’re nice but I don’t really want to speak to you outside of working together. You just rank so low on my friend hierarchy.”


27. Worst comments

“I don’t understand why a woman would want to be fat or not wear makeup. Their job is to look pretty. Just lose weight or get plastic surgery. There’s no excuse.”

Someone on my college rugby team that I was starting to look at as a friend. Not after that comment.


28. Senseless debate

Coworker and I were talking politics, the argument gets heated about immigration. He then says “If they have a towel on their head get out of our country!”

Lost all respect for him there and realized he knows nothing about politics.


29. Discovery on tape

My mom started finding out that she has been missing money from her purse now and then. She confronted my Dad about it but he knew nothing about it. They got into an argument and my Mom wanted to set up a camera to catch the person doing it.

My Dad would come home every day and watch the tape. What my Dad saw made him sick to his stomach. It was his sister (my aunt)…

We confronted her about it and she denied everything until we mentioned the camera. She started bawling her eyes out and kept apologizing…

That honestly made me lose all respect for my aunt, to think she would steal from her own family member and use that money for herself.


30. Unimpressive brag

Coworker telling me about how he stiffed a waitress. He didn’t even have to pay for the meal, someone else covered it, all he had to do was tip. Left a snarky note instead.

The whole time he has this satisfied grin as if I was supposed to be impressed at how clever he was.


31. Share this message

Any time people post those stupid Facebook chainmail type things about “share this message to keep your posts private” or “share this post to win $100,000,000 from Mark Zuckerberg”, etc.

I usually unfriend / hide their posts immediately after seeing that garbage.


32. Attacked out of the blue

Anyone else lose a friend over the elections? A (now ex) friend was so worked up about the election that out of the blue he attacked me for being a liberal and screamed that only the Republicans can save us from ISIS.

This guy went from one of my closest friends to right-wing Islamophobe wacko that day.


33. Terrible customers

Went out on a double date with a couple that seemed really cool and saw this becoming a good friendship. We went to a restaurant and they talked down to the waiter immediately.

They seemed to be on the same page as far as pointing out every little mistake and then discussing the issues with each other as the waiter walked away. They would interrupt the conversation mid-sentence just to be dicks to the waiter. I can’t stand people who are rude to people they don’t know.


34. Poor excuses

Terrible excuses. Just apologize and be sincere and that’s fine. If you’re late, can’t make it, whatever, you don’t need to give me a thirty-minute explanation unless it’s a crazy good story.

We’ve all been there, we all know how that stuff happens. If you feel you need that much justification for whatever you’re trying to excuse, you’re probably lying. That’s how it comes across to me, at least.


35. On the defensive

I have a coworker who constantly complains about everyone’s mistakes. He calls people morons and idiots for the slightest little thing.

But when you point out his mistakes he gets all defensive.


36. First nation

Made a comment about how he doesn’t hate Mexicans, he just wants America to be for the people who were already here. When I went, “what, Native Americans?” an embarrassed grin spread across his face.

Did not know people like that existed in real life, disappointed to have made acquaintance with one.


37. News to me

Me: “I’m a researcher. I study cell biology.”

Him: “You know they’ve already found the cure to cancer right? And the government is keeping it from us?”


38. Co-worker cruelty

These guys at work made a fake Facebook page to catfish this chick at work. She was very pretty, very naive, and very nice to everyone.

They were horrible and set up a fake date and she went… long story but that’s the gist of it. Men in their 40s, some married with children, acting like giant jerks to literally one of the nicest people I have ever met.


39. Threat to call the manager

When one of my good friends was unnecessarily rude to a Walmart employee for no fault of her own, simply because he was swiping his card wrong.

He threatened to call the manager and have her go through more training, said she was bad at her job, etc. I just dislike people who are jerks to people for no reason, especially when they’re just doing their jobs.


40. Infantile

I was in a minor car crash once with my boyfriend at the wheel (not his fault, guy behind us was on his cell phone).

My (adult) boyfriend proceeded to devolve into a whiny, panicked child who could not make any sort of decision or deal with the situation. I had to talk him through exchanging insurance, taking photos, etc.

I even offered to have AAA come by and tow the car, since my membership applies to the person not the vehicle, but he refused. Instead, he called his mother at work and begged her to come help him. Tears, incoherence, everything you would expect from a 5-year-old.


41. Quiet people

“You’re quiet, you should talk more.”

I’ll talk however much I damn please, who are you to decide how much I should talk? And really, in over 20 years do you think you’re the first person to suggest that to me? There’s probably a reason I chose to ignore that advice and just be myself, a quiet person.

I know they think they are being polite, but it’s seriously judgmental.


42. Inappropriate interview question

I worked with what I thought was a petty group of people. My boss would complain about coworkers the instant they left the room, she could complain about anything. So I decided to apply for another job.

At the interview, the interviewer noted my current employer and asked, “who do you hate most at (job)?” I said: “I don’t make it a point to hold grudges or gossip, thanks for your time, and good luck in your search.” Apparently the woman used to work with my boss and didn’t learn from her experience, but instead, took the pettiness with her.


43. Healing crystals

[People lose my respect] if they invoke any talk of healing crystals, holistic healing, auras, astrology.

I didn’t bust my ass in classrooms and libraries every day earning a college degree in science for you to regurgitate some nonsense you read on Etsy.


44. Really pathetic

When I told a “friend” of mine that I broke up with my girlfriend, he texted her the very same day to go have a drink with her.

More than a lack of respect for her (and for me, why not), I found this really pathetic.


45. Just ask

I have a pretty large port wine birthmark on my arm. Meeting new people, I am always greeted with an “oh! that looks so sore. Do you not have cream for that?” or “I have a family member with eczema / psoriasis…” and so on.

I try and keep cool about it and explain it’s just a birthmark, and a cream will not help, but I just don’t understand why people cannot just ask what it is rather than coming to a conclusion themselves.


46. Life-changing

Best friend of 20+ years looks me in the eye and said, “Having that kid really ruined your life.” I have not spoken a word to him since that moment.

My daughter is now 10 and the most amazing thing in my life!


47. Pyramid scheme

Got a call from an old friend a while ago. He sounded nice we were catching up for a while, seeing about getting our families together for a cookout or something.

Next thing I know he starts pitching a pyramid scheme and wants me to start selling for him. I told him I don’t waste money on those things, but he kept me on the line telling me it’s great and I could see a lot of return. I don’t talk to him anymore. Seems like the only reason he called me was for the sales pitch.


48. Workplace accident

I worked at an ice cream place and was cleaning the back and my mop hit the fire extinguisher (did not have a pin in the handle) and it went everywhere.

My boss took $150 out of my $180 check the following week.


49. Dine and dash

This brings back a dick move some “friends” did in high school. Invited me to come with to a pizza shop. All ordered, all ate, then they say “Listen, we’re going to get up and go.”

“What? What do you mean? We haven’t paid.”

“Paid?” Long evil laugh. “It’s called dine and dash, man,” and with that, they were gone.

I felt so bad but had no choice except to leave, as they were also my ride. Later I found out waitresses have to make up difference. Never again. Of course I also ditched the losers after that.


50. Rude response

I took my son to work with me, while I was on holiday, to pick up a pay cheque. I met our shipper and introduced my son who has a slight speech impediment.

My son said “Hello” and stammered on the ‘H’. The shipper started to laugh at him. I took my son’s hand and we walked away. Didn’t speak to the shipper again.