People Reveal The Dumbest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves


As the old adage goes, accidents will happen. Often, we can take some solace in knowing that our injury occurred due to circumstances beyond our control. Alas, as we all know, this isn’t always the case.

Plenty of accidents happen because we weren’t paying attention to what we were doing. Worse yet, accidents sometimes happen because for some brief moment we had imagined that the laws of physics and the limitations of human ability somehow didn’t apply to us. Should we ever be so foolish and arrogant, nature has a funny way of putting us back in our place.

Consider the following stories from redditors who have admitted to accidentally injuring themselves in very silly and, in most cases, entirely avoidable circumstances.

1. Bunk bed black eye

At 8 I was at a sleepover at a friend’s house. She had a wooden bunk bed but with no bed on the bottom so just a bed up really high.

We made pillow saddles on the head & foot railings & my horse bucked a little too hard and I hit my eye on the wooden railing really hard. Gave me a huge black eye.

Was hard to explain to my mom how riding horses at a sleepover in an apartment complex gave me a black eye. Lol



2. Push-up mishap

I was in middle school and we were going to see Coach Carter in theaters with the boys b-ball team. Middle school me was PUMPED. While in the shower I thought “Coach Carter eh, I bet they do push ups in that movie. Imma do push ups right now.”


Tried to do a wall push up. Slipped, smacked my face on the edge of the tub, and split my upper lip open from mouth to nose. Needless to say, did not make it to the movie.


3. Always be careful with golf clubs

I was 7. I was in golf classes with 2 friends of mine and an older cousin of one of them… So it was my turn, i was setting up my ball and one of my friends swinged back (he should have gone back and wait for his turn exactly for safety reasons), it got me right in the left side of my face in the jaw thankfully as i was significantly taller than him.

It opened a huge gash starting at my mouth and ending 3 cmd up in my jaw/cheek. There was blood everywhere and a piece of my cheek hanging from a small line of skin.


The 13-year-old cousin grabbed me and ran about 400 meters to the club and then from there to the hospital. I lost mobility to smile for years and now its barely noticeable but the crooked smile is still there if you pay attention, the scar is there to this day (I’m 36). The doctors said that it would most likely have killed me if i had been hit 7-8cms higher in the head.

The good thing, all GFs have said my smile and scar give me a sexy look, so its a small win i guess haha.



4. Toilet terror

When I was younger than 6, my family had a spare toilet that wasn’t connected that was by a sink. The sink was dripping water. I, being the conscientious little boy who didn’t want to waste water, stepped on the toilet to turn the handle.

I broke the f***ing toilet. It was literally in pieces. And I had a huge ass scar that covered my whole leg that apparently showed my bone.



5. CD attack

I was at work, unloading boxes of shredded CDs and DVDs from a trailer, and there was a single complete CD on the floor of the trailer. I kicked it. No idea why – I coulda just picked it up – but yeah i kicked it. It hit the lip of the end of the trailer and went from chest-height to bridge-of-the-nose height as it *thwacked* my poor colleague right between the eyes.


It all happened in slow motion. Poor b*****d never saw it coming, and he was left with a small abrasion. I was so apologetic. I felt like an absolute villain. Like, i didn’t need to kick it off the trailer! I coulda just picked it up. I had no idea he or anybody would be walking by, as it was outside and nowhere near a walkway. Just, dumb luck.


6. Flush fright

Flushed the toilet handle and the bloody thing broke off leaving my hand impaled to the bit still attached to the toilet. Being a wimp I called a friend to help, he detached my hand then promptly took me to hospital. A few stitches and a jab later we arrive home to find my door boarded up with a number to call.


Apparently in our rush to leave, I must have touched the door and left a bloody handprint behind. One of my lovely neighbours called the police, who broke in to do a welfare check! We laugh about it now whenever anyone asks about the scar that goes straight through my hand!



7. Stalagmite slasher

For my 8th birthday, a classmate got me something like a “grow your own stalagmite” kit you could buy at educational stores. Apparently, the purpose was to add water to some powder material, and use a funnel in the kit to drip it down to make your own cave features. Exciting, I know.

Anyway, I kept it and the other birthday presents I got in a cardboard box in my room. Evidently, at some point, moisture got into the box and the plastic the powder was in, and it began expanding.

Having nowhere else to go, the “stalagmite” material oozed its way out through the narrow slits in its box, and hardened into razor sharp edges.

I found this out quite bloodily when I put my hand into my birthday box to grab another toy, and pulled it out with permanently altered fingerprints on my thumb, index, and middle fingers.



8. Don’t play with fire

Playing man hunt. Some idiot made the camp fire area base. I was running for my life to get there, jumped this huge pile of fire wood, tripped over something and rolled right into the fire.


It could’ve been SO much worse, but I only burned my elbow and some of my hair. It’s been probably 15 years and the scar is only about three inches long and one wide.


9. Paper aeroplanes and razor blades don’t mix

I have a scar on my forearm from a weaponized paper airplane I taped razor blades to and launched with a rubber band… Sadly, this happened when I was 22, in the Air Force as a 3D0X2.


It sliced my forearm open on launch. I enlisted the help of another member of our shop to help me destroy the evidence and drive me to the base hospital to get stitches.



10. Take care with screen doors

Early one morning I was taking my dog, Snoopy, outside to use the bathroom and I guess he had to go really bad. So, he started flying down the stairs of the back porch right after I opened the door.

He was on a leash and I didn’t want to hurt him and make him fall down the stairs, so I rushed out behind him. I was wearing a pair of wool socks and slippers and as I awkwardly started following him, the bottom corner of the screen door clipped me on the heel.

It hurt a bit and I just limped around as he did his business. When I got back inside I decided to take my sock off because it was uncomfortably hurting and I see there is a good amount of blood that has seeped through the sock.

I pull it off and see that I actually have a pretty big gash across the back of my ankle.



11. Don’t try to itch under a cast

So I broke my right arm when I was a kid then decided to put a cast on me. My skin under my cast is so itchy, its like my skin is alive. When 2 months have passed, I decided to scratch my skin under the cast using a pen since my fingers couldn’t reach further areas.

While doing so, I accidentally put the pen further away inside that I can’t remove it under my cast since I can’t reach it then I just ignored it after that thinking that it will be just fine and I didn’t tell that to my parents since they would be mad.


After 2 months, they decided to remove my cast since its already due but the night before removing my cast, my mom noticed that my arm smells rotten. So fast forward, they removed the cast in my arm in the hospital then they noticed that the pen was penetrating my skin for months and the hole is about a size of a penny full of pus.

I didn’t even feel a thing. After that, the hole eventually became a penny-sized scar in my skin.


12. Honey bomb

When I was 7, I wanted a peanut butter and honey sandwich, but the honey was all crystallised and hardened. I put it in the microwave, with the lid still on, and watched it heat up. Within 6 seconds that thing looked like a beach ball.


I opened the thing and… wait for it… THE HONEY BOTTLE F***ING EXPLODED LIKE A GRENADE. It was hilarious and it hurt like hell



13. Ice cream rage

My mother and brother were arguing about ice cream cone sizes, so my brother stormed off, I followed him back to a villa thing we were staying at.

He didn’t have a key and we didn’t want to wait so I just punched through the glass in the sliding door to make an entrance. There were probably a thousand other safer ways to do it but it just seemed the quickest.



14. Be wary of petting a pitbull

I was drunk at a bar and came out to a bunch of guys trying to wrangle a loose dog in the parking lot. My brain and my heart were just in OHMYGOD CUTE DOG mode and I crouched down as it came barreling my way.


Imagine a 70-ish pound pit happily pummelling into an equally happy, yet oblivious to the concept of pain, 5 foot girl. I blacked out and came to covered in gravel and a little bruised around the rib area. Still worth it.


15. Oven safety is important

I have many burns from the oven from my first year at uni. I didn’t have oven mittens so I just grabbed everything with my bare hands.


Second year I was prepared, got mittens. First attempt as I was taking a baking tray out of the oven, it slipped from the mittens and burned my inner elbow. Still got that one…



16. Don’t tire yourself out

Changing tire on my GF’s best friend’s Audi. Had angrily argued “I’m a man, I don’t need no help,” when GF asked to assist. Jack was on oil-soaked asphalt (the Audi had other issues). Right as I went to remove the tire, creeeak WHAM! The jack slips, and my hand is pinned between German-crafted metal fender well and a tire.

My GF runs outside to see why a little girl screamed, finds me stuck. (Pain significantly increases my tonal range, apparently). Pulls on car desperately, no luck. Consider that I may have to wait for AAA.

Heretofore never-seen neighbour emerges from apartment, lifts car off about 6” straight up, freeing my hand, then disappears not to be seen again. Rushed to the ER by panicky faint-at-sight-of-blood GF, then to Orthopaedic ER.

Somehow missed all the bones, just a “flesh wound”. 1” x 0.5” scar to this day. Still with GF, married 25 years. Always let her help if she asks now.



17. Look before you leap

I was 16; this is about three days before I would get my freshman pictures taken. Something I had always done as a kid was run out of my from the door and do a leap into the front yard, no big deal for short me, but I had hit a growth spurt that summer and didn’t realise it.

New factors just came into play, like the giant metal overhang of the front porch. Well, my mother was chatting outside with someone, so I thought I would do my usual entrance, but I didn’t realise just how grand it was about to be, the top of my head just barely clipped that overhang and rang my bell, I cleared the porch spinning as the back of my head slammed into the sidewalk below.


I wasn’t in a lot of pain yet, but I remember sitting up and saying out loud ‘man that was stupid’. My mom looks at me, and I quote, “Yeah that was stupid, you’re BLEEDING.” I had gashed the top of my head straight open…

So three days, nine stitches, and a slightly shaved skull later I have to take school pictures. I hid the scars, but I had to live with that picture for the rest of my days in school. (I combed it all straight down to hide it the best I could, I can probably find the yearbook that picture is in if I feel like embarrassing myself any more today.)


18. Safety covers on power tools are there for a reason

I always see landscapers using weed-whackers without the plastic safety cover on the end of the things. I said to myself, ‘yeah, those things are bullshit! It’s holding me back!’


Removed mine and promptly weed-whacked a beautiful series of scars all over my ankle. That all happened in less than one second. But I was younger and dumber then. It was 2 weeks ago.



19. Slipping and sliding

9th grade. Dorm room. Put shampoo all over the big bathroom which was around 6m long with multiple stalls on both the sides of a straight corridor. Me and the Bois were slipping and sliding till I decided that I wanted to do a slick move that I saw in the movies.

On my knees with my arms and torso stretched backwards is how I wanted to slide. I started too fast, or rather, my legs ran too fast, before I knew it I was halfway across the room. If I crouched now to proceed with the slick move that I had thought of, my whole body would’ve been stuck on a wall on the other side.

So instead I choose to cease running. Legs stopped. Body still moving. Felt face-first onto the ceramic tiles and saw a white spark sorta light in my eyes. Got up and felt a small cut right above my eye caused due to the eye socket bone area.

Thought it was no big deal. Proceeded to look in the mirror when my cheek was covered in blood. 6 stitches. Worse than the physical pain was the pain of telling people how I got this scar.



20. Chicken run

I was in the Ecuadorian mountains as a kid and we pulled up to a farm where we were going to buy fish. They also had chickens, so as a typical nine-year-old I chased the chickens around for fun.


But then while no one was looking I ran into a barbed wire fence that cut open my left face cheek pretty good. So close that it almost took out my eye too. It took hours to even get to a hospital because of how remote we were. I just tell people it was a knife fight mostly though!


21. Doing the Time Warp can be hazardous

Very drunk at a friend’s wedding, I was at the end of a line of people doing the Time Warp. The Pelvic Thrust really amplifies under these conditions and I was flung headfirst into a fire door.


Had a massive bandage around my head for the rest of the night before going to get some stitches. Shared my cake with the nurse.



22. Don’t try to catch a falling knife

My dad and I were cleaning lobsters we recently caught. To do so, one clean cut with a large knife will crack the shell in half. I suffer from chorea and tend to drop things randomly. I lost the grip on the knife and it fell.

However, That didn’t give me a scar. Nor did me trying to kick the knife a little more in the air to attempt to catch it a second time give me the scar.

I got the scar as the knife fell for the second time and landed in-between my right index finger and thumb (that webbed skin area). By the time i stopped the bleeding and went to a walk in clinic, they said it was too late for stitches.



23. Drills are dangerous

I was drilling a PVC pipe with a 1/2 inch drill bit. When the vice broke, I thought I could drill through the pipe just by holding it with my hand. I held it in a way where the pipe was between my hand and drill bit.


I just assumed once the drill went through I’d just move my hand lol. It worked. 17-year-old SirGiraffe was not a smart boy.


24. Watch where you’re walking in the city

I was on my way to visit a former coworker for breakfast in NYC. I was observing the architecture and wasn’t watching where I was walking. Caught a knee high barrier of some sort and couldn’t catch myself in time.

Face slammed the ground and my glasses cut into my face on my cheek and eyebrow. Wandered around NYC in a daze trying to find a hospital/urgent care. Got stitched up eventually.


Texted my friend that I wasn’t going to make it because circumstances and had to reschedule to visit her at work. I think she was miffed but understood after I walked in with what looked like the deepest blue eye makeup of a black eye.

For all that, I found out that New Yorkers are caring people. A few people saw that I had a fresh black eye and offered to beat up the guy that did it to me. A local business owner let me wash up soon after I’d gotten the injury.



25. Watch out whilst washing up

When I first moved into my own home I bought myself an expensive set of Japanese steel knives. I always remember growing up my mother had always told me not to put sharp objects into a sink full of water.

I had a date round and I was cooking one evening. She offered to help me cook and I obliged. I was washing up as I went to avoid the mess.

I didn’t notice but she’d dropped two knives into the water. I walked over to the sink with a bowl I’d used and put both my hands under the water looking for the cloth.

The first thing my hand came across was a knife and it sliced straight through my finger. I now have a nice scar that reminds of this every time I go to wash up.



26. Weightlifting woes

Was lifting weights, attempting to do a ‘snatch’, where you pull the bar from the ground to above your head in one fast motion. I was having trouble getting the bar to go nice and straight, so I thought I would take the weights off the bar to practice.

Turns out that if you take all the weight off but still use the same amount of force, the bar accelerates upwards very fast.


I didn’t get my head out of the way in time, so I smacked myself in the face with a 20kg knurled metal bar, which split open the skin between my eyebrows. I bled all over the gym floor and still have a scar to this day.

Actually I was damn lucky. Millimetres lower and I would have smashed my glasses into my eyes; lower still and I would have broken my nose or smashed my teeth… Maybe I shouldn’t lift weights on my own.


27. Boomerangs go boom

When I have 6 or 7 I got a boomerang as a gift from a friend. Whenever I threw it, it never came back, but still was a lot of fun seeing the boomerang flying in a curve… [but] one day it came back perfectly.


It was so unexpected that I didn’t know what to do. I just remember me trying to duck trying to avoid it. In the end I was lying on the ground and the boomerang bounced once before hitting my forehead. Kinda stupid to get a scar from throwing a boomerang and not expecting it to come back, if you think about it.



28. More toilet troubles

So 6 year old me decided it would be a great idea to try and stuff both of my arms and legs into my shirt and shorts respectively. Furthermore, I decided that the optimal place to do this was sitting on a toilet bowl with the lid down.

What 6 year old me failed to grasp was that having your arms and legs in side your clothes gave me the balance and approximate shape of an egg trying to stand on one end. So once I achieved my goal, I promptly fell off the toilet bowl and smashed my head on the open door frame of the shower.

From that day forward, my username was forever some version of “scarman”.



29. The perils of pumpkin carving

By being a sarcastic a*****e, I sheepishly told my boyfriend he was carving a pumpkin incorrectly and grabbed the knife to “show him how it’s done” and sliced my entire palm open.


Almost needed surgery and couldn’t make a fist properly for about two months. Haven’t had the heart to carve a pumpkin since.


30. Silly games lead to silly injuries

As a young kid my brother and i had this game called: hot, hot, hot – cold, cold, cold. The idea of the game was to be butt naked in the living room, where we would press our a** cheeks up against the terrace door made out of glass and scream COLD, COLD, COLD! (it was best played in the winter time).

Afterwards we would run across the living room over to the radiator, only to press our a** cheeks up against it and scream HOT, HOT, HOT! This would go on and on and on until our mom went insane. Good Times!


The last time we ever played the game my brother looked at me with those eyes only a sibling can have, when they are about to challenge you to something stupid. He then proceeded to challenge me to do the run with my eyes closed! And as an older brother I had no other choice than to accept.

And as you might have guessed by now, this is I how I got my dumb scar… I ran head first into a cabinet and cracked my eyebrow open. Our mom forbid us to play the game ever again and I have a bada** scar “from a fight I was once in.”



31. Haunted house of horrors

I worked at a haunted house in high school to get some extra money, a whole twenty dollar bill. Plus it was fun sometimes. And chicks digged a man in uniform

But I dressed up like Beetlejuice one year and would jump out of this pop up box made from really cheap boards. And then it happened.

The board snapped. I screamed bloody murder and the group walking through screamed. Blood spewing from my hand.

I should have gone to the ER but I thought I could doctor it myself. It got infected and now I have a permanent scar on my hand.



32. That’s the last straw

A friend of mine was joking around after we had seen a movie, and jabbed at me with a drink straw to jokingly go “en garde!” He expected it to bend at the pressure of hitting me.


But instead, the plastic went right into my arm and scooped a tunnel of flesh out of my forearm. I still have the beautiful, perfectly straight scar six years later!


33. Can opening catastrophe

Had to have been around 10 years old and I was opening a can of tuna. One of those with the pull tab. Instead of opening it like a normal person (like index finger pulling the tab with my thumb providing leverage on the middle of the top), I decided I would use my thumb in the tab and placed my fingers on the edge of the can.


As you can imagine, as soon as the can started opening, the sharp edge of the can easily sliced through the pad of my index finger. I remember not crying, telling my dad I cut my finger, and running it under water from the sink. He thought I was talking about a small cut until I kept telling him it’s still bleeding a lot.

After a hospital visit, ended up with some stitches and a neat curved scar on my finger. At least my fingerprint is unique now!



34. Splitting mishap

When I was 12, I wanted to split a colour pencil straight down the middle because why not, and the obvious tool to use was a chisel. I held the chisel in one hand, and the other hand gripped the colour pencil tightly so it wouldn’t move when i stabbed down with the chisel. Well, I missed, hit my other hand.

After losing my s*** and trying to stop the bleeding, I went to wake my mom up and tell her and was promptly told to “put a Band-Aid on it and go to bed.”

Next day at school, I was having a really hard time typing in my computer class, so when I told the teacher, she sent me to the nurse, who then called my mom, who supposedly didn’t remember me waking her up to tell her.

A trip to a doctor’s office and a few stitches later, I’m good as new, all except for the scar I have that will forever remind me how stupid 12-year-olds are.



35. Laid out in the loading dock

While working closing at a grocery store I went to the loading dock to take out the trash only to find that someone had already closed the door. I was being lazy so I only hoisted the door up somewhere from five to six feet and ducked under it, as I stand at exactly six feet.


From the outside the door was hidden behind rubber flaps, and somehow in the short span of time it took to put the trash in the dumpster I forgot about needing to duck beneath the door. As I went to go back inside the bottom of door hit me directly at eye level, cutting me and leaving a small scar directly between my eyes.


36. What’s cooler than cool?

I was curious at what’s inside a pressurised PC air cleaner can so I turned it upside down so the liquid is by the nozzle and sprayed the inside of my arm.


Needless to say, the ice that formed on my skin looked cool for a micro second until I felt so much pain from the frostbite burn.



37. Live action role play gets a little too real

I was LARPing and a friend and I were duelling. We used PVC pipes and a single layer of camp foam for weapons. So he threw a ‘spear’ at me and I thought I could duck it.

Turns out it arced downwards and hit me in the side of the head splitting the top of my ear in half. Got a bunch of stitches and a headache along with a funny story to tell.



38. Don’t pick a fight with frozen beef

I had forgotten to take ground beef out of the freezer to thaw so in a moment of brilliance decided that if I cut the brick in half it would defrost quicker.


Cut to me sawing this meat ice cube in half with a serrated bread knife, dropped the knife on my foot creating this perfectly shaped gash. I tell people I survived a shark bite.


39. No running in the hallways

Six years old, racing down the hallways of the local YMCA. Not the smartest move, but neither is having the doors to the locker room swing OUT into the hallway. As you might imagine, the door opened right as I reached full speed.


I barely remember being on my hands and knees and seeing a single drop of blood hit the floor, and watching the doc sew me up in a mirror because I thought it was fascinating. Still have my Harry Potter scar to this day.



40. Marshmallow mayhem

Was roasting marshmallows at a bonfire and my marshmallow caught on fire! Now, I’m no amateur marshmallow roaster, I’m looking for the perfect golden brown, none of this burned nonsense.

So I attempted to quickly blow it out! Well, the coat hanger was more flimsy than I was anticipating, and it swung forward and tapped the tip of my nose.

So there I am, sitting on the beach with the tip of my nose covered in molten flaming marshmallow. Cut to me slapping myself in the face a bunch then running to the cooler for some ice.

My friends were perplexed at the slapping, then proceeded to call me Rudolph (as did strangers at my retail job) for the next few months before the scar started to fade. To this day, if you know it’s there, you can see the scar.



41. Apple incident

When I was like 6 years old I only ate apples that were sliced up. Well my mom was busy mowing the lawn and I kept asking her to cut me up an apple but she couldn’t hear me so I went inside to cut my own.


I held the apple in a C style grip and with a butter knife started trying to cut it in half, I jammed the knife right through the apple and also right through my index finger down to the bone! That was an interesting Sunday.


42. Maybe not the best hiding place

Playing hide and seek with my cousins at my grandfathers house… he had these huge pillows that lay on the ground by his fireplace, for his dogs to lay on.


I thought under them would make a great hiding spot so I lifted one up and jammed my head under without looking…cracked the top of my head on the edge of the fireplace hearth, and still have a small scar from that.



43. Just how hot is a flame, anyway?

When I was probably eight or nine my dad used the cigarette lighter in the car to light a cigarette. I was fascinated with it. He told me to leave it alone because it would definitely burn me. I didn’t not believe him but I had to know how bad it was gonna burn… for science.

So I pushed it in until it was hot, pulled it out, and stuck the entire circle part firmly against the pad of my thumb. Spoiler: it was really f***ing hot and left a perfect smooth circle scar on my thumb. My dad laughed til he about cried.



44. Always read the label

When I was 9, my mom got together with a farmer and we moved to his farm. His cows had a bowl with salt in it and here and there i’d take a fingertip of salt for myself.


One day I took a fingertip of what I assumed to be salt out of a plastic package and only read the label when my tongue started feeling buzzy. It said ‘sodium hydroxide.’


45. Don’t be too eager to open that bag of chips

Okay this was really dumb but few years ago, I woke up really early on a Sunday, just starving. So I found a bag of chips and was trying to open it but it wouldn’t open. I was super sleepy. Like everything was blurred and I just wanted to eat something and go back to sleep.

So I went to the kitchen to find a pair of scissors. But after rigorous 15 minutes of searching I couldn’t find one. So since I was sleepy I just picked up the first thing I got which was a knife… and started trying to cut through the bag like an idiot.


Long story short, I tried to cut it really hard and the knife went through the bag to the other side where I was using the other hand to hold the bag. The knife went inside my first finger, and it was a bloodbath all over the kitchen.

Got to the hospital on time and got a scar on my finger for life just to remind me how dumb I am sometimes.



46. Don’t get too curious about chemicals

I was 15 and I put a drop of nitric acid on my hand on purpose in chemistry class to see what would happen. Well apparently nitric acid doesn’t burn the skin, it passes right through and burns the flesh below.

Naturally you can’t get the acid off with anything after that, and just have to wait. The wound was greenish for a while, and now I have a heart-shaped scar on the back of my hand to remind me I was a stupid teenager. (My dad made me apologise to the chemistry teacher.)



47. The cost of breaking school rules

As a 10 year old I was allowed to help 5 year old kids in school. One of the only rules was: ‘Don’t run inside the classroom’. Obviously I did, after which I somehow fell headfirst on the corner of a table.


I got myself a nice little scar on my ear. These kids saw a dude twice their size break a simple rule which escalated pretty much instantly.


48. The perils of smelling hot pizza

I have a scar on my nose from smelling pizza. I was like 6 or 7 and my mom took hot pizza out of the oven and I wanted to sniff it.


Well, she wasn’t watching and then caught me. It startled me and the way I moved my face, my nose hit the hot pizza pan and cheese.



49. Baby steps

When I was about 4 I wanted to tell my dad about something I made up for my stuffed animals. I was walking down our stairs to tell him with my short, stubby little toddler legs. I decided it would be faster if I skipped steps… I tried to skip 4 steps at a time, couldn’t, and took a rolling tumble down the stairs.

My scar is actually pretty small, a little crescent shape by my eye, but it bled a TON, and I think my parents really thought I like broke my head open and it was the end when they saw me at the bottom of the stairs.



50. The blunt end of a sword hurts too

I have a suit of armour. When my dad was putting the shoes under the armour stand/dummy, he put them on the wrong feet. I laughed so hard my knees got weak and I bent over and hit my head on the back end/pommel of a sword I had resting against a bench.


My brother had just arrived to see what I was laughing at. I then said “hey guys I think I’m bleeding,” which really confused them since I wasn’t exactly doing anything dangerous. I ended up at the hospital and now have a small scar above my eyebrow. I’ve never hurt myself in such a stupid way in all my life.


51. Ball in the face

I was playing soccer and tried to clear the ball. Kicked it hard, it hit the guy in front of me, and then my face. It smashed into my glasses which cut me between my eyes.


Luckily because I wear glasses the scar I got from this is always hidden. The glasses giveth, and the glasses taketh away.



52. Whittling mishap

Tried whittling a piece of wood while camping, and the knife was dull and the wood was wet. I tried and on the first stroke it slipped and I sliced my left index finger. I said to myself “alright, well that sucks but let’s try again.”

I tried again; I slipped cut my finger again. Now this is where the dumb comes in: I decided that a third attempt was necessary and guess what? I sliced my finger a third time. At that moment I decided 3 strikes, you’re out. I bandaged up my finger, and put my knife away. Now I have three nice scars across my finger.



53. Don’t be dumb with dumbbells

This was back in the 90’s when step aerobics were all the rage. I was about three or four. My mom was in the basement with the lights off for some reason following along to a video with solid metal dumbbell.


In the middle of her video I run up behind her. Right then she swings her arm back and her weight met my forehead. Now I have a scar right above my eyebrow… some people ask about it.


54. Foolishness around the fire

Once upon a time, my friends and I lit a fire to eat marshmallows and sausages. One of my colleagues threw an empty plastic soda bottle on the fire.


The high temperature made the bottle “explode” and the pieces of hot plastic burned my left palm while I was trying to heat up the marshmallow.



55. No more monkeys jumping on the bed

I was jumping on the bed when I was a kid. The blankets slipped out from under me and I fell into my dresser. The corner edge of the dresser made contact with the top right corner of my eye; above the eyeball, under the brow.

I ended up in the hospital and have had a scar there since. Decades later, I’ve used this to get my kids to stop jumping on the bed.



56. The cost of being the class clown

In the third grade I tied my own shoelaces together so I could take a pratfall and get a laugh from my classmates. I fell a little too hard and hit my face on the floor.


I broke off a front tooth and a piece of broken tooth went all the way through my lower lip. That required stitches and dental work.


57. Ring-pull peril

I was opening a can of dog food which had one of those pry-away lids using a tab. I pried it off about 90% and decided to stop using the tab.


I grabbed the bent metal lid with my hand with my thumb against the fresh edge, and tried to rip the rest off. I almost severed my thumb.



58. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the dumbest of them all?

Not my proudest moment. I was in a drinking competition, went to the bathroom to pee and proceeded to give myself a pep talk in the mirror. (I was very drunk).

I leaned against the mirror with both hands getting serious and the mirror snapped under my pressing and dug into my palm before crashing to the ground. This was years ago and I still have the scar in my left palm of the puncture wound.



59. Don’t drink and Pokémon GO

Got drunk and started playing Pokémon GO. Found a Pokémon behind a fence. So i jumped and tried to hook my arm and elbow over the top of fence and cut the inside of my arm along my bicep. I didn’t get over the fence.


I also later realised that i didn’t even need to climb the fence, as it was chainlink, so I could have caught the Pokémon THROUGH the fence. I left having not successfully climbed the fence, with a cut on my arm – and WITHOUT the Pokémon.


60. Camouflage proves a little too effective

Once when I was about 14 I went on a week long school trip to an army camp. We basically trained like the army for a week (to an extent obviously). Well, the night we got our camouflage my friend suggests I test it out and go lay down on the grass in the dark. Stupid me agrees.


My other friend – running full pace for some reason – doesn’t see me, and kicks me in the face. A tooth went through my lip, blood went everywhere. I ended up in the hospital with stitches, and I’ve still got the scar today. Good times.



61. This isn’t how you score a goal

I was a soccer player all throughout childhood. Sometimes we were responsible for putting up/taking down our nets for games, and once I was trying to get the net down after a game. I wasn’t quite tall enough to reach, so I jumped up and on the way back down.

The hooks caught the skin on the back of my hands and just ripped through them, giving me matching wounds on the back of my hands. It’s been years so they’ve faded quite a bit, but I still have discernible matching scars on each of my hands.



62. Never sneak up on someone mid-golf swing

Growing up, we had a fairly big back yard. I was about 7 years old, and my dad was practicing his golf swing, standing by the house, and driving balls towards the woods at the back of our yard. I loved doing “surprise scares” on people, so I hid behind a tree, and when I thought the time was right I jumped out to scare my dad.


Well, it was right as he was swinging his next drive and the ball sliced straight towards me. It cracked me right in the face under my eye. I got about 20 stitches and had to wear an eye patch while it healed. My dad still feels bad about it to this day, but I’ve never held it against him.


63. Tag trauma

When I was in like 4th grade, me and my friends were outside. It was a cold winter day and there was this girl I had a crush on. We all wanted to play tag and said I was faster than anyone there. So she took off… not even 15 seconds into the chase I tripped over myself and nailed a fire hydrant right above my left eye.


I stood up and there was blood everywhere. I didn’t feel anything (I guess I was in shock), but the looks on everyone else’s faces was funny. I went to show my mom and she freaked out to and took me straight to the ER. It scarred right above the corner of my eye and it’s a great story to tell nowadays.



64. Hosin’ around

I was 13 or 14. We had a old garden hose wrapped around a post that we would use to climb up and down a steep part of the hill to get to the bus stop. Over the years the hose deteriorated until it was only held together at the top by a few strings.

One day in the spring, my younger brother and I rushed out of the house because we were late to the bus stop. I reached the hose first and began to climb down. It had rained the night before so the path was muddy and slippery.

I got part of the way down before the hose finally snapped, and I fell… My backpack got caught on a branch and I stopped rolling down the hill, but I was stuck.

I had no traction to push myself up to dislodge myself and my right leg felt like it was burning. My brother ran and got my dad and I was pulled up. A stick or rock got my right leg near my ankle. It hurt like s***, but the scar is small.



65. You’ve been framed

Didn’t hang a picture in a frame correctly the first day in my college dorm. Beneath the picture was a heating vent. Went to sleep and woke up to something hitting me in the face and when I sat up felt the sensation of warm liquid pouring down my face. I had no idea what was going on and walked into the hallway to see multiple horrified faces.


The picture had fallen off the wall, hit the heating vent and crashed into my face cutting my forehead and bridge of my nose. The warm feeling was a massive amount of blood pouring from my wounds… but interestingly there was no pain at all. Stitches and scars on forehead and nose: cant ever get my makeup to lay right on my nose now.


66. Mountain bikes are for big kids

So, 8-year-old me had a huge crush on my neighbour’s older bother who was probably 13 or 14 at the time. Thanks to genetics, I was a rather short 8-year-old. Conversely, his genetics ensured he was already approaching 6ft.

One day I stroll over to see my friend. Neighbour-boy got a new mountain bike and was showing it off to his friends. Now, in an effort to show off my biking prowess and impress my would-be-future-love, I decided to try and hop on and ride away in hopes of him chasing me. Fail.


I had to stand on their porch step in order to swing my leg over the side but of course I was too short for the bike so I couldn’t reach the pedals and ended up toppling over the other direction and slicing my knee open on the corner of the cement steps.

Pride hurt, I hobbled home and to this day, I assume he was unimpressed, as I can’t remember speaking to my love interest ever again.



67. Listen when someone tells you it’s sharp

Was messing with a box cutter my boyfriend had in his car. He told me to leave it alone or I’d cut myself. I ignored him and he repeated what he said.

“It’s not even that sharp,” I told him as I took out the blade and ran it across the back of my hand. Blood comes out a few seconds later and now I have a scar.



68. Going back to my (tree) roots

I was probably about 4 or so when my parents left the youngest of us with the babysitter so they could go out with some friends. One of the friend’s kids was left with us, and he and I decided we’d go in the backyard and race around the whole outline to see who could get back to the porch the fastest.

My dumba** took the long way around a tree, tripped over one of the roots and slammed my face onto the corner of a wooden bench. The scar is only a finger’s width away from my eyeball.


I had to get several stitches and have a gnarly picture of me at 4 years old throwing up a grin and a peace sign with a giant purple bruise and gash on my forehead with the stitches poking out of it. I still have a dope scar from it.


69. Oil be in need of medical treatment!

Okay, now hear me out. How was I supposed to know that oil would leap out of the frying pan the first time I cooked steak at 25? Also, how was I supposed to know that I’m not supposed to drown the frying pan with oil?


u7Lessons learned that day: oil is hot, lightly oil, don’t drop the steak onto the frying pan, and don’t wear nice clothes when using a lot of oil.



70. Apples are not the only fruit

When I was a kid I tried to peel a mango like you would peel an apple, with a steak knife. I wound up cutting off my whole thumbprint.

That was about 20 years ago and my thumbprint has grown back about 95%. There is still a hard piece of scar tissue that still hurts if it’s pushed on or if it gets cold.



71. How bad can stepping on Lego really be…?

My dumb six-year-old self woke up one day wanting to see what all the fuss about stepping on Lego was, so I got out a nice fresh block, and stepped on it.


My parents ended up having to get a new carpet cause I bled on it so much, and I needed to go to the emergency room for stitches in my foot, where I am still scarred.


72. Hopping fences is usually a bad idea

When I was 7 or 8 year’s old, I was playing with these little toys with my next door neighbour. After a few minutes of playing he had to go inside to eat (he never gave me back my toys). As I waited till he came back, I figured I would hop the fence to get them back.

I had spiked chain link fences surrounding my house but my next door neighbour and my other side neighbour had different front fences. I climb the fence to my next door neighbour’s yard, all goes well besides it tore up my basketball shorts. I grab my toys and jump their front fence which didn’t have any spikes, so easy jump.


Our gates were locked so I had to go to my other side neighbour who had a brick wall. So I climbed it and as I looked down, I was terrified from the height. My sisters happen to come out at the right time, so I decide to climb down. As I climb down I have my elbow over the spike, I then slip and I’m now dangling from the spike. I can now feel this spike touching bone.

I get it off, go inside, mom yells at me, go to the hospital and get stitches. Now I got a scar that looks like an eye on the side of my elbow.



73. Careful taking those new clothes tags off

Christmas 2013. I put on a new pair of pants for a Christmas dinner at the church next door when I realised that I forgot to take the tags off. Genius me didn’t take the pants off before I pulled out my pocket knife, and ended up slicing through my pants and a decent chunk out of my right thigh.

Even better, was out of band-aids so I used feminine pads and duct tape to patch myself up. It took my mother five hours to realise what I had done and another 4 fighting with my mother and grandma before I ended up in the ER getting 3 stitches.



74. That’s one way to get the point

Put a glass with just sharpened pencils by the couch before laying on it. When I had to stand up, I had completely forgotten about the pencils, so I rolled off of the cushions and ended up with a pencil stabbing me in the knee.


It went about 2 inches deep and there’s both the scar of where the pencil entered and the smudge of graphite of where the tip stopped.


75. Never moon a man with a spoon

I have a massive, noticeably cool-looking scar above my left eye. I hate telling the truth about how I got it, though: which was by mooning the captain of the fishing ship I was working on while he was eating a chocolate pudding.


In retaliation he threw his spoon at me. This hit me in the head and caused a very deep gash, which bled for days despite amateur attempts at stitching and dressing it. Of course, it later became infected due to my working conditions and lack of proper care. Result: big facial scar.