People of the Internet Are Sharing Their Mildly Embarrassing Social Faux Pas and it’s Hilarious
We’ve all experienced an humiliating social blunder at some point in our lives – whether that’s calling the teacher “mum,” or saying “you too” when someone wishes you a happy birthday. After all, embarrassing public fauxs pas are a part of our socially awkward, British way of life.
Twitter user @MooseAllain knows this better than anyone. Feeling bashful after a mildly embarrassing moment at the shops, he shared his pain with the internet.
Accidentally said “Many thank you” to a woman in a shop.
— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) November 9, 2017
This prompted Twitter users to respond with their own examples of social ineptness, and the most cringeworthy comment thread ever was born.
Check out some of the most shameful below
Once, a colleague politely asked if she could ask a question. I muddled up “fire away” and “go ahead”, telling her to “go away”.
— James Panton (@jamespanton) November 9, 2017
I once said to a woman whose dog was sniffing my trouser leg “I bet he can smell my pussy.” The silence that followed was beyond stony. I do own a cat.
— Jo Short (@thebrainofspock) November 9, 2017
I was complaining that I’d printed something on the wrong type of paper whilst also answering a call. I said “good afternoon, yellow paper” and then immediately hung up in shock/embarrassment.
— N(e)RJD ? (@NeilRJDowling) November 9, 2017
at school a friend wanted a packet of smokey bacon crisps but actually asked the dinner lady for a “smacket of pokey bacon”
— sonofajoiner (@sonofajoiner) November 9, 2017
Brilliant! Someone remarked on how big the cat is to me the other day and I meant to say “he’s like a panther” whilst deciding against saying “I hope you don’t mean fat” and I actually said, “He is my father”.
— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) November 10, 2017
In a bistro in France, @LReb82 had some lovely pea soup. With genuine enthusiasm she loudly declared “you can really taste the pea-ness.”
— Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) November 9, 2017
Jogged past school kids last night: one speaks out ‘have a nice jog’ *cute* I reply ‘You too’ *less cute*. He was in no way shape or form jogging
— C Mc (@CMc_New) November 9, 2017
Ah yes. Departing from a friend, I went to say “Take care” but then my brain thought “All the best”. So I ended up saying “Take the best.”. Take. The. Best.
— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) November 9, 2017
My daughter loudly demands “cock prawntail crisps”
— Jenny Mclaughlin (@jennymaclondon) November 9, 2017
Takes me back to the mortifying “stiffy cocky pudding” episode.
— Barcodezebra (@MatthewPerren) November 9, 2017
‘Large Cockporn’ in the cinema once
— David Keogh (@tweetfoggy) November 9, 2017
Had an excruciating one recently. Walked past my neighbour in the street. She said “Hello, how are you?” Heard myself reply: “And you, bye.”
— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) November 9, 2017
Saw the Doctor before going on holiday. ‘Have a good time in Portugal’ she said as I left. ‘You too,’ I replied before dying in horrible cringe agony in the waiting room.
— David Lewis (@davidclewis) November 9, 2017
I answered the phone at work and instead of saying ‘Can I help you’ or ‘Please hold for a moment’ I said ‘Can I hold you’
— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017
It’s so easy to do especially if you’re not really concentrating. Another time I answeeed the phone and said ‘Hello. Can you help me?’
— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017
The endless times I’ve saluted a bus driver as I get off, with, ‘Thanks, Mum’.
— lucyinglis (@lucyinglis) November 9, 2017
In fairness he then dissolved in a horror fit of embarrassment and apology.
It was massively funny.
— Aidan McNelis (@aidanmcnelis) November 9, 2017
I once answered the phone at Shelter by saying “hallo, Shelter, National Campaign for the Hopeless” and was mortified
— Ruth Morgan (@motheranxious) November 9, 2017
Friday before last bank holiday, graduate in the office gets up to leave. Not sure whether to say have a nice weekend or bank holiday, he instead cheerfully blurted out:
“Have a nice wank holiday”
— Robbo (@tunerobot) November 9, 2017
Out running one morning, I met a man walking his dog, got confused whether to say hello or good morning, ended up shouting HORNING at him instead
— Knitting to keep from stabbing ? (@rozknitroz) November 9, 2017
This thread is hilarious. And this one reminds me off the time I asked for £200 worth of Friss Wanks in the Post Office.
— Mary Gillespie (@marygillespie4) November 9, 2017
Once forgot a colleague’s name in a meeting, my brain completely froze, so I just pointed and said “this woman”. Mortified.
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) November 9, 2017
In the shop buying birthday cards and as I took the Change instead of saying “Thank you” I said “Happy Birthday”. Perfect. ??
— JH Lewis (@JenHLewi) November 9, 2017
On one occasion when spelling out my surname over the phone I began with “M for millipede…” I then proceeded to spell out ‘millipede’.
— Lee Madgwick (@LeeMadgwick) November 10, 2017
My mum once phoned me on my birthday to wish me a happy new year.
— Andy Horton (@fechtbuch) November 10, 2017
Think you can top these? Tell us in the comments!