Well done, Dave

Dave’s world has crumbled. Remaining faithful could have saved his marriage and family. Now, his affair is public knowledge, spreading online and across that parking lot. His wife emptied their joint bank account, leaving Dave with nothing. Her sign-off even suggests that she has the kids on side…

Dave’s wife’s approach is brutal. However, it’s a stark reminder that while we can choose whether or not to cheat, we cannot choose how other people react to our infidelity or who they decide to tell about it!

Apparently, it’s not mutual

This one’s a real punch in the guts – for both halves of this soon to be ex-couple. It ought to have been an adorable simultaneous exchange of messages. Frankly, although both partners ought to have known their other halves better, the blame for this screw-up lies firmly at the door of the person who wants to break up.

Breaking up by text is cowardly enough but suggesting that you share the information at the same moment as your partner sends you a message is a major lapse of judgment.

What a message…

It’s pretty common to use a public space to spell out a marriage proposal. However, using it to tell your partner that you’re divorcing them is more unusual.

Choosing the storefront of a local restaurant is a particularly bold move – and, as Paul is a fairly popular name, offers scope for confusion. Imagine a guy called Paul walking past the restaurant, clocking the message and having a brief panic attack – at least until he remembers that he doesn’t even have a dog.

Not the usual sort of yard sale

Yard sales are a great way of decluttering belongings that their owner has held onto for far too long. However, have you ever come across a yard sale that was held specifically for getting rid of an ex-partner’s possessions?

It’s an intriguing – and very public – way of dealing with infidelity, and it definitely smacks of revenge. That said, one has to wonder what happens when the estranged wife and her lawyers find out about it. Even the sweetest revenge can sometimes turn sour…

At any rate, they were still courteous

Was the sender of this break-up message hoping to lull their soon-to-be-ex into a carb coma courtesy of the pizza? There’s surely a strong chance that the recipient’s appetite vanished as soon as they opened the box.

Other questions also remain unanswered. For instance, did the author of the message witness its receipt? Who actually scrawled those words on the box? It’s a bit of an ask for the pizza delivery guy. And, unless their (ex-)partner is standing right next to them, how can the recipient be sure that the message is intended for them?

Just kidding….

This is a mean one – and potentially dangerous too, given that it’s apparently directed at someone driving a car. However, clearly, the sign writer didn’t care – and perhaps even felt rather self-satisfied at having come up with this break-up method.

As for the luckless Jennifer, who only noticed the warning signs when it was too late, she’ll be learning that every journey has its destination and that, as with many other relationships, hers is a place called “heartbreak.”

Broke and single in the same day

Steven has learned too late not to mess with Emily. Her very visible, and probably rather pricey, billboard is testament to that. In fewer than 50 words, Emily tells the world – or at least everyone who passes that building – just what a terrible husband Steven has been.

Emily doesn’t give specifics but, from the sound of it, they wouldn’t have fitted onto that billboard. Besides, she’s said enough to let him know that she knows everything – and presumably so too does her lawyer.

Not the best joke

Can you use humor to soften the blow of a break up? The sender of these texts obviously thought so although it’s a pretty fair bet that the recipient didn’t agree – and probably ended up feeling humiliated as well as suddenly single.

From the perspective of an outsider, it’s hard to decide which aspect is more unsettling: the fact that the Knock Knock artist turned their breakup into a joke or their belief that it was a gentle way to end things.

Now, let’s play a game

If anything is going to make “Honey” regret his dalliance with Kelsi, it might be this message. Busted by his now-ex, he’s sent off on a trail to retrieve his belongings – if he even can.

It’s a neat way of focussing the guy’s mind on the relationship he had (and has now lost), and its significant milestones. Hopefully, it’s also a lesson he’ll take with him into his next relationship, whether that’s with Kelsi or someone else. And, hopefully, too, he’s grateful that his ex didn’t destroy his possessions.

Careful what you wish for…..

It’s another joker who thinks a text message is the ideal way to break up with your (not so) significant other. And it’s made worse by the sweet, tone of the first message. Maybe the sender was too naïvely hopeful when she (or he? Just guessing here…) mentioned marriage as their ultimate goal. However, the response was harsh and poorly timed.

Hopefully, however, the 11:11 wish maker was not permanently disheartened and will find themselves able to make a wish again sometime in the future – and have someone respond with kindness and warmth.

She’s in love with someone else

The poor spelling and grammar aren’t even the half of it when it comes to this girl. At least she has the decency to give poor Adam a heads up that what is to follow is not good news. However, telling your boyfriend he’s dumped because you’re in love with someone else, and then implying that he might find comfort in the fact that it’s “not Sam” seems a stretch too far.

And the sad face emojis don’t help the girl’s case either. Is she trying to empathise with her jilted ex or is it herself that she’s sorry for? Whatever the case, it’s not a good look.

Britney and Justin are couple goals, apparently

Using failed celeb romances as an indirect way to suggest a that a break-up is on the cards isn’t the kindest approach. Frankly, it also implies that the person about to do the dumping is spending an unnecessary amount of time beating around the proverbial bush… If you want to break up, why not just come out and say it!

We can only hope that the person who was dumped in this ineptly odd fashion ultimately finds their inner strength, just like Britney Spears eventually did!

It’s over, Batman

Using a quote to breakup with someone is never a good idea, especially if that quote comes from a movie both of you have enjoyed. Way to ruin the Batman franchise forever for this poor person!

It might seem hard, especially if you’re not the chatty type, but it’s always best – and means far more – to put your feelings into your own words. There’s no need for lyrical poetry, great literature or Hollywood-standard scripts: just, “I’m sorry, this isn’t working for me anymore” will do.

The refusal is almost admirable

Neither party comes out of this short exchange well. The guy doing the dumping is terse, unemotional and offers not even the shadow of an explanation for his decision. Really, his partner is probably better off without such an emotionally stunted other half.

However, refusing to acknowledge reality, as the text recipient does here? Most of us leave this part of ourselves behind in grade school. It just doesn’t wash in the adult world, no matter how humorously it’s done. Yes, there’s hilarity in this person’s method but it’s unlikely to prove successful.

If in doubt, get your friend to do it

Perhaps this was a meticulously crafted plan by Derek, getting his friend to do his dirty work. If so, it’s both cowardly and cruel, in the way that it threatens the friendship between the two people exchanging the texts.

…And it’s not really any better if the friend somehow got wind of Derek’s intentions and put their foot in their mouth before Derek got to break the bad news himself. After all, the three brief texts from the friend display an almost dazzling lack of empathy, suggesting that the recipient has a vacancy for a friend as well as a boyfriend.

The sass is strong with this one

The first message in this exchange doesn’t pull any punches. However, it’s clear, to the point, others a brief almost-explanation, and even finishes with a “sorry”. So much, so better than so many other dumpings.

No, in this exchange it’s the recipient who’s more unreasonable. It’s natural to feel hurt, even if, deep down, you see the sense in what the other person is saying. However, being so blinded by your hurt that your first response entirely evades the purpose of separating is quite breath-taking.

A little humor to ease the break-up blues

We’ve all experienced an autocorrect moment gone wrong, but perhaps not in these circumstances. Autocorrect interfering during a break-up is possibly one of the more awkward ways a break-up can go – and yet another reason for (wo)maning up and doing it in person.

At least the person whose words were mangled managed to see the funny side. As for the person that was being broken up with? Well, it’s unlikely that they took solace in the accidental joke…

To be fair, this one is understandable

A matching sense of humor is vitally important when it comes to a healthy, long-lasting relationship. So is knowing Tina Turner’s entire discography, according to this Tumblr scroller.

While this exchange is likely just a joke, there are plenty of people who’d agree that it’s understandable to use someone’s lack of musical knowledge as an excuse for breaking up with them. What’s more, we can bet that these six messages gave someone inspiration for how to break the bad news.

A wrong number is a chance for a test run

The universe works in strange ways, including connecting you with a complete stranger to test out your breakup message. Seeking the approval of someone you’ve never met is an odd choice, but we’ll give the guy a break – break ups are a terribly hard thing to navigate.

Clearly, however, what’s missing from this exchange is how the stranger responded – with a yay, a nay, or total silence. And, of course, how the real thing panned out.

Smooth or awkward: you decide

This response is actually quite clever, with the recipient claiming that they’d immediately get back with their partner if they were dumped. Hopefully, the sweet (and rather funny) message didn’t get lost in translation – however it looks as if there was a certain amount of scope for the humor to be misconstrued.

Yes, this is an exchange that raises a chuckle, but it’s risky and highlights the need for clarity when it comes to matters of the heart.

Break-ups require a high level of efficiency

Break-ups are a hard process for most no matter what side you’re on, and figuring out what message to write is a stressful process. Thankfully for this woman, she nailed it, writing a message that says what it needs to say without obfuscation or hand-wringing.

However, less thankfully for the same woman, she appears to have created a group chat – and used it to send her well-drafted message to all the guys she was dating in one fell swoop. Efficient, but definitely lacking in class…

I’m breaking up with you. Can I meet your friends?

This is the sort of exchange that makes jaws hit the floor. It ought to be made up but, sometimes, truth really is stranger than fiction!

Besides, it looks as if this man had a lucky escape. A girlfriend who breaks up with you over your lack of financial stability and then has the gall to go on and ask if she can be introduced to some of his more solvent single friends isn’t a catch. Hopefully, he blocked her and never looked back.

He cares. Kinda…

It’s not clear what this guy “guesses” he cares about. So, here are two hot tip takeaways. Hot tip 1: If a guy ever says that he “guesses” that he cares, he doesn’t care one iota about you – and you’re best off running a mile. Your partner should fight to be with you, not roll over and give up at the first sign of a struggle.
Hot tip 2: If a guy ever says that he “guesses” it’s over, that’s not a hint that you should try to change his mind. Someone operating at that level of indolence and uncertainty doesn’t have the words “life partner” tattooed on his soul.

This little girl is going places

Rachel is having none of Shawn’s behavior, unwilling to put up with being treated second best, even at a young age. We can’t help but wonder where Rachel is now – but, wherever she is, she’s surely not going to be putting up with any nonsense.

And, more importantly, did Shawn buck up his ideas and ever manage to find true love? Judging by Rachel’s handwriting, he was pretty young when his lack of interest disappointed her. Hopefully that means he had enough years to grow up before it really mattered.

Mom is keeping it real

After sending a slew of profanities to his mother that were meant for his girlfriend, this guy’s mom sided with the ex, savagely roasting her son in the process. Let that be a harsh lesson in having a potty mouth – you never know who your message might reach and how they might react.

Of course, you can’t read this exchange without wondering whether the guy ignored his mom and went on to text Emma anyway…..

This break-up letter was so good it was framed

Another girl who doesn’t believe in pulling any punches, Anjie tells it like it is to Tom. And, given that it’s framed, we have to suppose that he rather liked the letter – or ended up appreciating it in later years.

One possible explanation for the seemingly sentimental framing of the letter is the context surrounding it. Tom, the receiver of the letter, later came out as gay, never dating another girl again after this very day. Looks like there was a reason why he was spending all of his time with his friends, after all!

Reddit was the breaking point

It’s a fair bet that Reddit has been a factor in more than one couple’s break up. In this case, after having her fill of being made fun of, this girl decided that a joke about Reddit was the final straw in her relationship.

It’s easy to see both sides here – repeatedly being made to feel inferior is enough to drive anyone to breaking point. Equally, she did call her boyfriend an idiot, so perhaps there’s a reason for his constant jabs.

Revenge is sweet

This guy’s ex chose an odd way to demonstrate her heartbreak, by breaking all of his Kit-Kat bars to show how much he hurt her. While we appreciate the visual representation, it does raise more than a few questions.

Why Kit-Kats? How did she break them? Some people might have used a hammer or something else hard to smash them but it looks like this girl has snapped each packet in turn. What does that say about what this guy did? We’ll never know…

Auto-correct revealed her true colors

This little exchange provides an unfortunate lesson in the importance of proof reading. We hope the initial sender took this lesson to heart, after the poor guy’s relationship was left in tatters when autocorrect got in the way.

However, after his amorous message turned into a disaster, at least he discovered his girlfriend’s true feelings before he had (hopefully) gotten too deeply involved. Hopefully, too, he wasn’t too cut up about the way the shock of her response prompted him to reply.

A formal way to end things

As if to prove that breaking up by text isn’t always the worst option, this guy decided to write a letter. And not just any letter! No doubt he considered himself to be an intelligent, well-read, erudite sort of a fellow. Needless to say, he comes across as pretentious and supercilious.
Sure, there’s no name-calling or finger pointing, but this letter can only ever paint him out to be the bad guy. Whatever the backstory was here, she’s better off without him.

Why use words when you can use emojis?

Some people really shouldn’t be allowed out alone. This guy is one of them, taking the easy way out when breaking up with his girlfriend. Instead of using words to express his feelings, he chose to send a slew of emojis, in a hieroglyphic sequence.

We can say all sorts of things about this guy’s emotional immaturity and inability to string a comprehensible sentence together. However, if these actions are anything to go by, the girl had a lucky escape.

Some things are better left unsaid

This short exchange, complete with its cute emojis, is a prime example of why you should never joke about breaking up with your other half. For this boyfriend, his joke certainly backfired, leaving his hopes of marriage in pieces (and – we fervently hope – unsent).

It was doubtless a painful lesson. However, he’s unlikely to have made the same mistake in a subsequent relationship and hopefully he found some comfort in the fact that his ex never knew how close he was to proposing to her.

That’s how to Mcdo it!

Well, that’s one way to do it. Breaking up with someone in a public place is generally frowned upon, and making a fast food-related joke in an attempt to soften the blow doesn’t seem great either. If this Twitter user truly did witness this event, it’s likely a memory that will stick with him forever.

However, what about the girl who was Mcdumped?! How would she have felt with her now-ex finding humor in the situation? Unfortunately for us, we can only guess.

At least he’s still got his boys

This guy’s sadness at the way his ex refused to complete their viewing of The Lord of the Rings trilogy is palpable. However, if your other half needs to be persuaded to spend time with you, is she really the one?

Luckily, this Lord of the Rings fan had a strong support system around him to help him through his break up. Just as luckily, his “boys” are as into The Lord of the Rings as he is. Those are long movies meaning many, many hours for this guy to spend immersed in a world where his ex will never go.

This is just the worst timing ever

Timing is everything when it comes to break ups. Christmas, birthdays, significant anniversaries and, yes, Valentine’s Day (or the day before it) are all dates best avoided – especially when, as in this situation, there wasn’t a precipitating event for the break up.

There’s no way that there isn’t an extra sting in being broken up with the day before Valentine’s Day, especially when you’re in the middle of preparing gifts for your callous partner. However, hopefully, this girl had at least kept the receipt – and ate any chocolates herself.

A poem isn’t always a good idea

While he certainly has a way with words, a scathing poem isn’t the best course of action – no matter how well-written it may be. Referring to your ex as “barren” and “impenetrable” will only make her feel worse. Besides, poems are usually seen as a romantic gesture – not to inflict pain.

There’s also the fact that the poet is seemingly attempting to shift the blame for everything that’s gone wrong with the relationship onto his ex. And, just as it takes two to tango, it also takes two to make a relationship break down.

At least she’ll be able to eat her feelings

As far as breakups go, this is one of the better options. While it’s awkward for the cake decorator to create, and it may be painful for the girl in question to receive, it does have one distinct advantage: she gets to eat her feelings away!

That said, this cake will inevitably call into question everything about the relationship. For instance, is this how the guy has always seen her? Or, if not, when did the transition occur – and why didn’t he say anything sooner?

The truth hurts

Without the context, it’s not completely clear what’s happening here. However, it looks as if the initial message-sender is taking the bit between their teeth and forcing both parties to move on without further contact.

And, though it sounds harsh, sometimes a clean break is the easiest (and kindest) thing to do. Wanting to keep your ex in your life is understandable, but it rarely ever works. Telling a recent ex that you don’t want to be friends will hopefully give both people the closure they need.

Nobody can force you to do anything

Whatever this context is here, this ex-boyfriend isn’t coming off very well at all. Drawing attention to the fact that he looked at other girls while they were together and believing that he was “forced” into dating his girlfriend are all the signs we need to know that this guy is toxic.

Fingers crossed, the girl rapidly came to the same conclusion, wrote him off as a life lesson and went out dancing with her girlfriends.

Sometimes silence is the only answer

On the face of it, this is a fairly brutal response to what sounds like a reasonably thoughtful suggestion. However, as ever, context is key.

The sender of the initial message had apparently been spammed with endless phone calls and text messages, begging her to “discuss” things. When, she finally offered to do what he wanted, he backed out, claiming that he’s “doing really good”. Even to an outsider, this seems unlikely; he probably just wanted to hurt her like she seems to have hurt him.